In recent sad news for Trump and his fellow Confederates, the Seditionist-in-Chief has been banned from Twitter for being the awful human being that he is. To celebrate, Big Easy Magazine is offering him a brand-new coffee cup as a free gift commemorating his being kicked off his favorite social media platform for good. Although we are offering it to the Traitor Tot as a gift, for you the cost is the low, low price of $14.00, with the proceeds helping to finance independent journalism.
The cup is a stylish Twitter Blue and white, and is multi-functional. Not only can you drink coffee from it, but it’s large enough to hold at least 8 ounces of salty MAGAT tears. And since a lot of Make America Great Again Terrorists are going to jail soon, there’s a lot of tears to go around. Or sit it on your shelf to gaze at while you laugh and laugh at never having to see one of his treasonous, asinine tweets ever again.
Mitch McConnell is a huge fan of our coffee cup. In a recent interview for Aquatic Monthly’s special turtle issue, he says in his gravelly country voice, “Every time I think of Trump, I take a sip outta this here coffee cup and feel a little bit better. “
It’s sleek, sexy, and very cup-shaped with the words written in perfect Twitter font, “@realDonaldTrump,” and “Account suspended.” And since it is a limited edition, it could even become a collector’s item, representing not only Trump’s failure as a President, but that moment in time when Big Easy Magazine was a little bit smaller, but always just as boldly progressive.
The cup is also endorsed by Senator Josh Hawley (R-Moron) who raved, “No, I won’t do your stupid coffee cup ad. I’m suing.” Which is surprising coming from a spineless opportunistic wimp who whines and cries over a lost book deal.
But seriously, buy the damn thing. It’ll allow me to write more articles like this one. And if you hated this shameless plug, buy enough of these cups, and I can go back to writing my usual super-intellectual fare.
The ball’s in your court, you twice-impeached loser.
Big Easy Magazine is selling the coffee cup for $14.00 here. The funds will raised from the sale of this product will be used to publish more progressive content.
