Its a commonly held belief that after the sparks of an early relationship have cooled off, and after a couple has settled down and the excitement of a wedding and honeymoon night have passed, that the sexy thrill that once drove the two of them earlier starts to disappear. Is it really inevitable for a married couples sex life to disappear after the honeymoon period? Do other things take over? In fact, many things can cause this issue of a lost sex life.
If a couples sex life does wane, how can they get it back? Is it even possible? Of course it is, but it just needs the right attitude from the couple and the right approach to finding solutions that work for their situation in particular.
1. Introduce Toys
Couple sex toys can be somewhat daunting at first, especailly for the man in a male-female relationship. There are perceptions among heterosexual men in particular that these toys are only meant for women, gay men and other who dont share their straight persuasion. This is nonsense, of course, and many couples toys are designed specifically to stimulate both male and female partners.
Before venturing into the world of toys its important that any couple first take a look at toys on offer together and agree on things that would work for them. It can be too much for some when one party unilaterally decides to use toys and brings them into the bedroom. Its a decision best made together to find toys that will offer something enjoyable to both parties.
2. Create a Fun Date Night
One of the big factors behind the spark leaving a relationship is that everything has become too routine and too comfortable. Getting out of the house and having a date night where the two of you enjoy the things you did when you were first going out. It could mean a trip to a bar, or a nice restaurant, or to go see a movie, but somewhere there needs to be that deeper spark of electricity between you just like when you were dating — the hand holding, arms round each other, sharing jokes and food, having fun: these can all bring back the sense of fun that led to the great sex that was around before the marriage.
3. Role Play
Another great and easy option to spice things up a bit is role playing. You might reenact scenes from adult films, or from other fiction you both enjoy. You might incorporate personal fantasy into the role playing to create exciting, innovative and scintillating situations that youd never even dreamed of doing before. Just like date night, role playing reintroduces the fresh and unknown something back into the relationship – the je ne sais quoi that brought sparks and fireworks early on.
4. Change the Setting
This idea combines well with role playing and with date night. If you put all 3 together, you could create a night where you agree to meet at a late-night location and one partner tries to pick the other one up as if you didnt know each other. The addition of a romantic and comfortable luxury hotel room, for instance, takes away the remaining familiar surroundings of home and plays into the exciting fantasy.
These occasions dont have to happen every night, but it can reignite the lost fire and subsequently translate to better and more frequent sex at home, too.
5. Talk About What You Want and Avoid Unnecessary Steps
Finally, for any of the above and/or other ideas to work, it requires both parties to first acknowledge that theres an issue to be solved and agree to find ways to fix it. Open and honest communication is needed to set boundaries, create enjoyable ideas that both parties can get into, and avoid anyone unilaterally trying to spice things up with things that complicate matters like inviting a friend into the bedroom for a three-way. Communicate well, and find solutions.
