Saints Ungreatest Moments

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New Orleans Saints fans are starting to face the facts after years of being spoiled by the success and near success of the NFL franchise under Sean Payton and Drew Brees, that we’re not in Kansas anymore. Or something like that.

A few years ago we were celebrating the Saints 50th anniversary, and there were lists of the greatest moments.

However, as a Saints fan from day one, I know better than to get my hopes up. I’d like to share a few of what I deem the ungreatest moments in Saints history.

And before I go on to antagonize the die-hards among us, let me establish my Saints bonafides.

I was there on opening day to witness Gilliam’s run. I was there when Dempsey kicked the 63 yarder. I was there when Bret Favre threw the stupid interception that sent us to the Super Bowl, and, most of all, I spent more money on season tickets in my lifetime that I’ve spent on health insurance.

In no particular order:

  • Randy Mueller is hired as GM of Saints. The Saints go 10-6 his first year after going 3-13 the previous year, Mueller unloads Ricky Williams to Miami for beaucoup draft picks in one of  the greatest rebounds from a crappy trade(see # 5). Tom Benson fires Mueller all of a sudden. Never has there been an explanation. Benson at the time said that no one had to tell him anything about Mueller; he,Benson, just gets a feeling by walking around the building. A feeling. Tom Benson, clairvoyant extraordinaire. Believe me that TV psychic, Miss Cleo, ain’t got nothing on Tom Benson, I believe it.
  • The early 80’s Bum Phillips became coach. He trades draft choices and signs over-the- Earl Campbell and Ken Stabler. I guess Fred Flintstone is not a real person. And Bronko Nagurski is deceased. But the best move by Bum? As coach of the Saints he gave his endorsement to moving the team to Jacksonville . The sale was all but a donedeal. Handshakes had been made Saint president Eddie Jones has admitted they were waiting for word to move the team but a last minute additional demand from owner John Mecom killed the deal. Thank you Bum.
  • Moses, remember him? He was the dude who dressed up like a Biblical prophet and attended every Saints game as an unofficial mascot. Well, in an interview with the Times Picayune, he shared the origins of Moses. He said that God had told him that if he dressed up like Moses and went to each Saints game with a staff, the Saints would be winners. He dutifully showed up at the Saints game staff in hand. Only thing is staffs are not allowed to be brought into games. Undaunted, the next week Moses shows up at the Dome dressed as Moses but he had substituted a raccoon puppet for the staff. You make your own conclusions.
  • We should have been to a couple of more Super Bowls under Payton but for the Rams debacle  and the heartbreaking loss to San Francisco,,,,alas. In San Francisco the culprit was one -Pierre Thomas got hurt early.  Two-  with the lead and time running out  defensive Genius Greg Williams dials up a blitz.  49ers score.  We go home, There was a movement to get Williams Blvd in Kenner changed to Don’t Blitz Now You Stupid Bastard Blvd. But I guess that couldn’t fit  on the street signs.
  • Saints trade all of their draft choices for Ricky Williamas. Williams hires a first timeNFL agent who is a Harvard graduate. Harvard graduate work for Master P’s sports agency. Enter Saints Jedi Knight-Terry O’Neil, the Saints capologist.. O’Niel gets Williams to sign the worst rookie contract for a # 1 draft choice ever. Williams signs for a minimum and the contract is incentive laden. As an example if Mr Spock on Star Trek turns out to be a real person Williams gets $100,000. Terry O’Neil? Jedi Knight.
  • Jim Haslett  was head coach and the Saints were not yet regular playoff contenders consequently it was a big deal for Saints fans to be in the hunt for a playoff berth. Aaron Brooks was the starting QB and all the Saints had to win was only one of the last four regular season games in order to make it into the playoffs. Now, some Saints fans  noticed that Aaron Brooks seemed to be not  throwing the ball in the same  fashion as earlier in the season. When asked, the Saints hierarchy assured us there was nothing wrong with Aaron Brooks’ arm. Some of us suspected otherwise. Nonetheless, the Saints lost all 4 games with Brooks under center, After the season ended Brooks went in for surgery. Because there was obviously nothing wrong with him.
  • Buy 10 tickets get 9. Saints play only 9 home games in 19XX they come with a scheme that makes season ticket holders buy 10 games anyway. They gave you what they call a “free” ticket that you had to pay for. My extra ticket was near the roof whereas my regular tickets were on the 2nd row from the bottom. I was waiting to buy 2 beers, get none.

During those 4 games there was an Inuit  in Alaska about to harpoon a seal and this Inuit didn’t know anything about the NFL. Still he may have paused. Thought , there is something wrong with  Aaron Brooks’ arm? I don’t know what that means. But there is something wrong with his arm. Now, you in Metairie know this. The Inuit perhaps has an inkling. But , no, they tell ya there is nothing wrong with Aaron Brooks arm. You , as a fan, have to believe them. You have to have faith. 

These are just some of my favorites but I’ve got more.

We’ll have to wait if not till next year and least till next time,

In the meantime -WHO DAT!

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